Feel so hopeless about life

I feel so unhappy with my life lately. I have a great job which I like, lots of money, and a nice place to live, but I feel so uncomfortable with myself and have extremely low self esteem. I also have some pretty severe social anxiety which has prevented me from dating or even making gay friends. I've tried quite a bit over the last couple of years, but I'm still left feeling the same 2 years later. Some of the things I've tried include:gaybros meetups - I had trouble talking to people at these meetups (approaching people in large groups is very difficult) and eventually felt like I was just left in a corner alone, so I stopped going after like 4 meetupssocial anxiety meetups - These were actually good. I've made a couple of good friends at these meetups who I hang out with almost every week, but I feel like I can't be my complete self with them since it's very difficult for me to come out to people even when I know they'll be accepting. Also, I want more gay friends but most of the people at this meetup are straight.other general activity meetups - These usually just leave me feeling uncomfortable because it seems like everyone else already knows each other. I usually end up feeling like I don't really fit in, so I stop going after a while.psychiatrist - I saw a psychiatrist a couple of months ago and they recommended a group CBT program. But the wait time in Toronto for this program is 4 to 8 months...so I guess I'm waiting. I'm not that hopeful about this helping anyway since nothing else has ever helped.I'm not really sure what else to do at this point. I feel like I'm just waiting to die since life isn't really enjoyable most of the time. Any ideas?