Im a lesbian (i think).. but there's a catch

So essentially I am a 19yo female who has liked girls for as long as I can remember however I've never expressed this to anyone besides a new group of friends I met over the last summer. And I can appreciate the beauty of a man but not like women. My problem is that I think vaginas are gross but I like penises. And further on from that I do not enjoy sex with women (i do enjoy however heated interactions) but sex with men, I do enjoy. This is freaking me out because how am I suppose to have any kind of relationship.