2014. november 8., szombat

Do You ever Feel...? May be TL;DR (Sorry in advance)

This is going to be a complicated question trying to tackle the intricacies and complexities of sexuality that exist still diversely within our own community. Are there gay men out there who ever feel like they literally have the mind of a women? I do. Now I don't mean this in terms of masculinity vs femininity, because I on the whole am very masculine and I know feminine men who though feminine think more like a man than I do in terms of relationships and sex. I also am not referring to transexualism. I am not uncomfortable in my male body. However, I have to come to the realization that I have a hard time dealing with the detached nature of so many men. I don't understand them. And that's where I realized, upon researching and looking for advice when dealing with a broken heart that I am much like a women. And these advice editorials often brand men as being very detached physical creatures - and it's not necessarily a far off general statement. Many Tops - are in fact very detached, they can have sex and not have any lingering feelings afterwards. I can't though.I recently had sex with a man. He was very affectionate towards me and I loved it. But Afterwards I brought up if we where serious and he told me honestly that he is not really looking for that, he was actually very vague about it - I don't think he knows what he wants. It hurt and then I later told him that I want to be friends but I can't do casual sex ( after he had asked to "smash" again)- since for me sex means so much. Now we are friends, more or less, but he is totally indifferent towards me now. It hurt for a long time, and I cried a lot, because I couldn't figure out why he didn't want me. Mind you, the sex was after a long bout of talking to each other for a few years - so it wasn't a guy I just met. But in retrospect I guess there where some signs that indicated that he had always just wanted sex from me.Anyways, not to turn this into a sob story. The understanding of "Mainstream Romance" has painted a picture of men being the ones who are not the overly emotional sentimental ones and women being the ones who take up that torch. But if I am any representation of gay men like myself then it's not that clear cut. And the often spoken of confusion between the sexes exist between same sexes. I am often times left baffled and curious about what is going on in a man's mind, and I am a man myself.So anyways what do you guys think of that? I find myself very closely in sync with female perspective and the way I feel the world, and I know that there are gay men who are still very "Manly" in how they feel things. Has anyone gone through this as well?

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