Hey bros--I feel so conflicted about my current relationship w/ my bf (M24/M24). We've been together for 5 years, 4 of which we spent together in college (we met freshman yr), and the other in long-distance (he just started law school in NYC; i'm in DC doing policy research at a think tank). We try to see each other almost every weekend. I love him so much!!! We're each other's first serious long-term partner. He's perfect in every way and we're compatible in every way (we've talked about getting married)...butThe distance is really starting to weigh on me. I'm starting to get really lonely during the weekdays when we're not together and I just sit in my apt alone after work. We skype every night, but it's not the same as having him around to go out with and do things together. I've tried taking up hobbies / doing activities w/ other friends, but it's also just not the same. This is terrible for me to say, but I also really hate doing the 4 hr trip to visit him every other weekend. I know that shouldn't be a deal breaker, but it's such a time/$$$ kill + me going out-of-town for two weekends/month means I haven't really had the chance to embrace the city fully and have a social life of my own. I can't really make plans w/ friends ever cause I'm constantly away visiting him. He's been experiencing similar frustrations too in the reverse.I've been honest and expressed these concerns to my bf before but he always dismisses them as 'temporary'. Originally he suggested I look for work in NYC, but I really love my job and there aren't any comparable research opportunities in NYC related to my specialty. So it looks like we're stuck in this situation until he graduates in 2.5 years.I consider my bf my soul-mate, and until recently I thought we'd end up spending the rest of our lives together, but now I'm in such a weird place. I still love him silly, but the distance is really hard.Part of me is horrified at breaking up. I feel so lucky to have found 'the one' on my first try. I read all these \gaybros discussions about how awful gay dating/hookup/app culture is these days, especially in DC, and I don't want to spend the rest of my 20s (30s? 40s?...) trying to find a second 'one' when I've already made a slam dunk. I also feel like he would become really emotionally insecure if we broke up (I tried suggesting we 'take a break' once and he told me I was 'ruining his life'...), and I really don't want to hurt him! At the same time though I feel like maybe I'm too sheltered/naive/young having only ever been in this one relationship and I should be branching out.I really don't want to screw up a good thing, but something just isn't right. Feeling so conflicted... Any advice?
Nincsenek megjegyzések:
Megjegyzés küldése