I'm just tired and in need of some Nice wards and a Hug. Life Ranting Post.

am trying to be as honest as possible, I'm Turning 22 Tomorrow on the 13, and I am so Sick and tired.Hi I'm Mohammad, Gay Chubby non-Muslim with a Muslim name inside of a Muslim Country. I Just Realized I am Dealing with some pressure, I'm Closeted in both my Religion and my Sexuality Except with other LGBT Friends which are a few.so how my life is like right now, I'm a University Student from 6am to 1pm then I work from 5 to 12 its takes me about an how on the way from uni to work so i spend an the extra 2 between just passing time with friends.I Have a Boyfriend for 6 months now, i Hardly see him as he's Busy and I'm as well, I love him at times at others i just hate him as whenever i try to complain about my time or troubles he always turns it into a Competition of Who's life sucks most.also he has Suicidal Tendencies which he refuses to admit but are obvious to me.. i don't want to lose him.I Love myself most of the time, but i am tired it's just that everyone of my friends and my boyfriend complain to me over everything and whenever i turn to look for someone to talk to i just don't find any.I Love my Friends, it's just that i wish i had a friend who'd treat me like i treat them.so TL:DR Fat Gay Arab non muslim is tired.