Hey guys,I’m feeling really conflicted about my relationship. It’s my first relationship with a guy and we’ve been together for 6 months. I’m 19 and left my part-time job to become a full-time student at community college. He’s 26, a great guy, but currently unemployed for about 5 months. My problem is that I’m having second thoughts about my relationship right now. I’m feeling like I need to take some time being single and knowing what I want, what makes me happy, working on myself, etc. On the other side, my boyfriend is good catch. He’s caring, enjoys any and every moment we spend together, and there might be a good future with him. If I break up with him, I know I would be losing someone that I feel happy with.He loves me more than I love him; I probably don’t even have anything near the feelings he does. Last month he gave me copies of keys to his place, his car, his email account (all things I didn’t expect and feel awkward having), he drastically fixed up his place (though he said he couldn’t unless I came out to my parents), and he’s quit smoking. About 2-3 months into the relationship, he asked when I wanted to move in with him. At the time I said no because I don’t think I’m ready to move in with someone when I haven’t had a roommate yet. Last weekend, he’s been wanting me to stay at his place every night (at this point, I’ve been spending most of my weekends there for about a month or two). I’ve also talked about this with my parents. We agreed that I could spend an additional night in the middle of the week. The reason why is because I currently travel to 4 different places: home, my boyfriend’s, and 2 school campuses (one that’s close by and one that’s about 10 miles away). I gave both my boyfriend and my parents this reason and all of us agree on it. He lives less than 5 miles away from me, so it’s not that far, but it would’ve been a hassle to travel between 3-4 places about 5-6 days a week. I also plan on transferring to a university in one year, one of which will require me to move because it’s in a different part of the state.I also know that his unemployment is a little bit of an issue although it probably shouldn’t matter. Both of us live in a big metropolitan city, so jobs are plentiful here. But it’s been 5 months since he’s been unemployed. He did work at a gas station before, but he got let go. I’ve been supportive of him trying to land a new job. So far it’s just been a few interviews that he’s told me about. I helped him with his resume before and I told him of any places that I saw had a hiring sign. Sometimes he says he fills out 10-20 applications in a day. So while he’s out of a job, I do pay a little bit more often. I’ve paid for a couple of dinners, though nothing too fancy, drinks at the corner store, gas once or twice, and a couple of other small purchases (like a ticket for the state fair). I’m also usually the one to drive to his place on the weekend (I also drive to the school on the weekend by the way). He’s also paid for dinner in the past, few drinks here and there, and some things like a candy or popcorn. He also gets a few groceries on the side for himself. I don’t mind paying, but I also have school and gas to pay for too. He knows this so he’s told me that if I don’t want to pay for something beforehand, I don’t have to. I’m probably making the financial stuff more of a bigger problem than it is.Overall, I’m 19 and some people have said it’s ok to not know what I want or take the time to know myself first, but that’s probably selfish of me to break up with because of that. Even my boyfriend has said he thought about breaking up with me because of that even though I haven’t told him about this. I just know that it’ll really suck because he’s ready to keep a serious relationship and settle down in a few years. If I do break up with my boyfriend, he’s going to be extremely heartbroken and I might regret the decision because I lost someone special. I know I should tell him what I’ve been feeling recently. I’m just kind of all over the place right now.Tl;dr: Torn between breaking up with my boyfriend and know myself first before dating again, or staying in a relationship that could get better over time with a good guy.
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