23 years old and unsure of everything

I'm 23 years old and in that time I never have had any kind of sexual or romantic relationship with any person, male or female. For some time I seriously thought I might be gay with deeply self-loathing issues (I feel nervous around bare-chested men) but after having to oil up female models in a photo shoot there is little doubt I feel attracted to women, so I regard myself pansexual these days.I tend to feel a deeper emotional connection with women but a more erotic attraction to men. Yet, even though I have known cases of at least a man and a woman who have felt infatuated with me, the idea of having a relationship with any of them feels "off", as if it was not natural to me to being with either a man or woman.I live in a somewhat conservative country in South America with a conservative family. I recently graduated from college and now I'm trying to define what to do now. In my one trip to NYC I actually went to a gay bar to try to define stuff, only to get the "Oh honey" look from and older couple.I know moving out and living alone will help things out, but right now life feels so frustrating.