Anyone who’s process of self acceptance of their sexuality was unbelievably painful?

Hello there. First off, this reddit community is great. I’m posting looking for some help/advice/opinions. Did any of you experience a lot of internal pain and suffering during the internal process of figuring out your sexuality? I am fully aware of the social/external challenges that come along wit coming out, but I’m more talking about the self realization process.I am really not sure what my sexuality is at this point and the whole process has been so painful that I’m really desperate for any help I can get. I am in my mid 20s and have only ever engaged in heterosexual interactions and essentially over had full out fantasies with heterosexual images as well. Despite this, I have been horrified for years (severely for 5 years) that I might be gay or bisexual. I have been diagnosed with OCD and have been treated for having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, but I’m not sure if this is a misdiagnosis.Sometimes I see other men and get positive feelings. These positive feelings are immediately followed by panic that I might be gay. Is this an experience that other gay people can relate to while they were figuring themselves out? Or is is pretty much always a positive experience (and the negative experience comes with the social consequences)?Any input or advice would be great. I just am not sure if I have a sexuality that feels so Ego Dystonic or if this is not how it would feel to be sexually attracted to other men. Thanks