Am i a unassumed Gay Femboy, or just a pathetic guy

So i got that kind of dream.That kind of dream that woke yu up with chill behing your spine, vibrating with all my being with doubt of fear.I'm 27.I love old rock, has well has secretly i love girlish music and electros.Just like i cant really chose.For example, while im writing this im listening to this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CtJOGPM3rg&start_radio=1&list=RD8CtJOGPM3rgBut the thing is: i can listen to song like these sometime https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J51LPlP-s9o&index=1&list=PLXrWvz4VfPPWnoz5cZLNQKgx5u2SBb4KL&t=0s or emo pop-rockI guess you people are not psycholigist and i got regular appointment with a psychiatrist, but not for that kind of treatment unfortunately and i think it would be unrelated to talk about how i feel about myself this with him(we talk a couple of time about my identity without getting in depth in that subject)I just wonder.I love thight and g-string secretly but never dared order some on ebay, i mostly always got long hair, theyre short now and i dont really feel like myself like this tbh.So about this dream.It was a reference from my past when i was roomate with 2 good friend of mine, but in this dream it was like 90s version of this(we were watching same movie everytime, drinking beer and listening to old school rock, but i was always feeling apart, like i was different than them but just trying to fit in).Its kinda related to me on a deeper level.At a moment in this dream(there was erotic moment) a girl was litteraly on me but i wasnt really into her.One of the truth is that it also hapened a couple of time that certain girl that i wasnt into come to me and thing happened with them just when alcohol was there.I mean i cannot said im not entirely and one hundred percent gay, but if i had to chose i would probably not did a thing with most of these girl, but i failed to attract boy and girl that i really want so maybe i just rely on what i can have.I feel pathetic and im sorry for that.I just really dunno how to feel rite now and would like some advice.