What do you think would happen to my state of mind if I went through with this?

So on an average basis, I consider myself straight. When I'm not horny, I'm 100% into girls, not into guys at all. BUT, sometimes I get horny for guys. I've watched a lot of gay porn, and am into crossdressing. Whenever I cum to gay porn, I go back to being unattracted to guys. And I find it weird how I just wanted to be sucking a cock a minute ago. But let me tell you, when I am horny for guys, I am REALLY into guys. Like I'd pay to GIVE a blowjob when I'm horny for guys. So anyway, through the grindr app, I have almost hooked up with guys, never ended up happening though. So one day, if I do meet up with a guy, and I end up giving him a blowjob or something, how will I feel after?