I [M/23] just cheated on my boyfriend [M/32]

I [M/23] just cheated on my boyfriend [M/32].To add backstory, he has recently accepted he has bad issues with anxiety - and as an addict, he still craves to go back to the drugs when things don't go his way. He hasn't gone back to the drugs. He instead called up his insurance agency before going on vacation to look into rehab and counseling options. He dumped me while on vacation after getting into an argument and walking off on me, telling me that "we are over" and that he's "never once needed medication" before he met me. By the end of the vacation, we both sobered up and came to a better conclusion, forgave eachother for the most part, but he refuses to talk into detail about the argument. I've never asked if we are "back together," and I've only been assuming at this point.When we got back, I went over to a friend's house to talk about my situation while my partner went to his parents house, and my conversation with my friend ended up into consentual oral sex.I know if the tables were reversed, I'd be very upset with him - but the way things are, he has emotionally hurt me, manipulated me, and sent mixed signals he refuses to address.Should I feel guilty? Is this normal? I've never been in this situation before.TLDR; I had oral sex with another man while I'm in a bad situation with my current partner. Is this normal and should I feel guilty?