[NSFW] ? for other bottoms/this guy told me I'm not gay??

Hi all, just recently admitted to myself I'm gay. Felt like such a relief. I've always felt like such a weirdo and then I finally felt normal after realizing I'm gay.I'm a hard bottom. I don't top, I never want to top, which is just to say that I have no experience with other bottoms. I'm not exactly "out" I guess, I have a few gay friends but I've yet to tell them I'm gay and I'm nervous how they'll feel about it after me repping as straight for so long so have nobody to talk to about this.Soooo usually I don't get like fully hard when I'm having sex. Sometimes I do when I'm really in the mood, but most of the time I'm just hard, not ROCK hard y'know? Well this guy I hooked up with told me it means I'm not gay. He said it means I'm not into guys I'm just into anal.Now I'm all confused, I mean yeah I can't even remember the last time I jerked off without something up my butt. And it's not like I can't have sex with girls cause I have in the past, but it's been a long time since I was even remotely interested in a woman. Girls can be easy on the eyes, but seems more like an envy thing for me, cause so far all of the guys that make my jaw drop are super straight so sometimes I just wish I was a girl. When I think about having a serious relationship it's always with a guy in my mind, but it hasn't always been that way.Which is all just to say, is my lack of a raging hard on or how it sometimes takes me a while to get it up normal for a bottom like me? I get that tops have to perform in that way, but I never thought it was weird for me until this guy said I'm not gay because of it. Now I'm really self-conscious about it and really distraught. : [