I think i should come out

So I grew up in a Catholic household in a small town. As I was growing up I liked girls but I hit puberty, and started looking at guys, and getting some crushes. I feel terrible because I don't know where to start, if I tell my parents I'm dead, or disowned, even worse they already hate me because some school issues. My friends and I have the relationship where we make fun of each other, and I'd rather not have anyone else hear from them that I am gay. I feel alone, I always did but I know there is no one around me that would atleast understand, I mean it's my sex life, and my love life. I don't usually tell people, and dont want to ruin my relationships over it.