How did you decide when to come out?

I feel about 80% ready to come out to my family. Some hold ups I have are:When is the right time?Why do I even need to come out at all? Why is it even anyone's business except my own? My parents have never once in my life asked about my sexuality, so why should I even bother?My sister is a bit conservative, and my brother is also a little bit conservative, but ultimately I think no one would even care if I were gay, honestly. My mother might be a little disappointed because that means I'll never have biological children (and the likelihood of having children at all is much lower), but ultimately at the end of the day, I think they'd get over it and not really mind. Still, that doesn't make broaching the topic any less awkward or uncomfortable for me.My family members use the word "gay" to mean "I don't like that person or thing" or "this sucks", etc. And that deters me from wanting to even give them the time of day. (ex: "man that movie was so gay!" translation: That movie was stupid; I didn't like it.) It honestly makes me not even want to tell these losers.I don't want to tell both of my parents at the same time, but I also don't want to create the scenario in which my mom finds out before my dad, even though I would honestly prefer that. But I am trying to see things from my dad's point of view, and wouldn't he probably feel less important if I told my mom first? But honestly my relationship with him is so poor compared to the one I have with my mom. Idk.I have already decided to myself that the next time my mother asks about my romantic life or romantic future, I would just tell her then. But that actually has come up multiple times already, but we were out in public or in the middle of a restaurant or something, and it just felt like the wrong setting... too public.My extended family are disgusting (most of them), and I honestly don't even want to deal with the backlash and shitstorm that would happen lmao. Thankfully I'm not in contact with any of them, but I would have to see them again eventually at a family reunion or something, and I just don't want to have to answer to them about something that's none of their business anyway.By the way, I am already out to my friends and pretty much anyone who asks. The only exceptions are my parents and family. I wish my family made me feel safe and comfortable being myself, but unfortunately they haven't, which is why I am here.