Homophobia, race, age, forgiveness?

I'm exhausted just by thinking about it further so I'd like some other opinions. I recently started dating someone who is fairly younger than me. I'm 36, he is 29. Furthermore he is a dreaded Nicaraguan and I am a white old punk kid covered in tattoos. Meeting each other, we thought everything was so groovy. We both felt that there were things about one another that we needed in our lives. For him, he openly told me that meeting me has made him want to grow up and become a productive man, something he mentioned frequently. I'm currently living in LA, while he is in NY- where i am from and normally live. This past weekend i came back to visit him and i am now horrified. Long story short, we went out and did some partying this past weekend- since we viewed it as a special occasion 😒We got a tiny bit of cocaine. (Yes, i know...) So we end up at a bar and close it down the bar tab needs to paid, we all throw in on it in cash and his friend (who is 24 and black) said he'd put the rest on his card. We agreed as it is a fairly normal thing to do and we began to walk to the door. Then the bartender yells to us "are you serious? Youve been sitting in our bar till 4am and you didnt leave a tip?!" I was mortified. It all happened so quickly, i ran to the bar apologizing and trying to fix the situation- but that is when it got uglier. The two "boys" began screaming at the bartenders that they were being racist. That if they were white- they would never ask for a tip. This was absolutely absurd to me. I tried my best to get them out of the bar, but they continued to yell at the bartender. I stomped out in disgust hoping my young friend would follow- but no, it only got uglier. They started screaming homophobic slurs at the bartender. Very very ugly things. On top of screaming about how everyone is racist and my own "boyfriend" was standing in the street yelling that he hates white people. On the verge of tears, I got them in a cab where the white people gay people hating continued. At one point i was told i didnt know what i was talking about because i am white. Needless to say, i told him it was time for me to go. That his behavior was insane and something i would never tolerate. But, now he is on the apology tour. Having white friends tell me he isnt racist, planning a trip to the bar to apologize directly to the bartender. I never knew this side existed, i am shocked and appalled. But, his feelings seem sincere. He too is disgusted by his behavior, and of course the excuse of alcohol and cocaine has been used. I dont want to be that idiot girl that forgives horrible behavior- but i am debating it. Firstly, have you ever said anything horrible? I know i have definitley said some ignorant things in my life. I mean, nothing even close to that level, but still things that i cringe at in my older years. Secondly, not that this type of incident was discussed specifically, but i know this goes along with the whole "i want to grow up and be a man" talk. To some degree, i feel like he is a product of his environment. He is from Compton, never had a gay friend and has definitely grown up in a place where being gay was far from embraced. I on the otherhand grew up around gays, I donate annually to HRC, and feel that if I dont walk away it will be taking a neutral stance in something that to me is as bad as being the victimizer.So- what would you do?