I f*cked up bad

Hello, this is my first time here and I typically don't seek out help but I am at my wits end. When I was 13 my parents got divorced and my mom ended up getting remarried to this guy (We will call him Mark). I never considered Mark a father figure, I have a father and Mark never pretended to be one. He was instead a friend and that's what our relationship was. He is relatively young (In his 30's) so i'm sure that's why our relationship was easy to keep like this. The issue is I had a HUGE crush on him. He is the alpha male type; sports fanatic, hairy , muscular, tatted, etc. What made things worse is that he was always physical with me like he would wrestle with me, or we would spar together. You can imagine how hard it was being around him and not get excited. Anyways I just graduated and I'm 18, these feelings never went away. I threw a graduation party for my friends and Mark was chaperoning. Me and my friends were all having fun and we ended up drinking. My friends left around Midnight and Mark decided to drink with me to celebrate. We drank his expensive vodka that he saves for special occasions. The rest of the night we played pool and drank and ended up getting pretty wasted. I don't know what came over me but I made a move on him. I got close to him and kissed him. I waited a few seconds and he didn't say anything so I went in for another kiss. This time he reciprocated so I took that as a sign to proceed. I started to grope the front of his jeans, as soon as I did that he pulled back, grabbed my arms and told me I need to stop. He stormed out of the room and slammed the door. My heart sank and I was so afraid that he was going to tell my mom that I was gay (I haven't came out to anyone yet). I know if we weren't drinking I would have NEVER tried anything. Yes I realize i'm a terrible person. It's been a few days and I haven't talked to him since the incident. I'm moving in two weeks to another state for college and I don't know If I should talk to him about what had happened. I haven't slept well, I feel physically sick and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about this. I know I fucked up, but I'm lost right now and I don't know what the next step is. Thank you and any advice is appreciated.