Hello, /r/gay, I need some advice.

Hello! Long time lurker, first time poster. I've been going through some stuff and I don't really know how to solve my problem, with my problem being that its like I'm no longer attracted to men and seem to be more drawn to females. (Sorry this is a pretty long post, so bear with me)So, I have stated that I was bi for the past two years or so, but I noticed that my sexual attraction was mostly to dudes, mostly bigger dudes (and black dudes). I dated girls through high school but I never really felt that attracted to them, and I was watching gay porn constantly and basically lived a double life as, I guess what you could say was in the closet. My senior year of high school, I became crazy sexually attracted to this one dude in my theatre company, but he was straight, and long story short, he would let me play with his butt backstage and I loved doing so, but I was afriad (for some reason) that I had sexually assualted him and I basically had a year-long panic attack over the fact that I hurt him for I basically sexualized him.Anywho, I graduated high school in 2014, and at my college orientation is when I met my first girlfriend, and we started dating around two months later. I told her I was bi before we started ddating for she asked me if I was gay or not. I had told my brother that I was bi about a year previous to that. The first two months of our relationship I continued to watch gay porn and whatnot, until she found out that I was watching porn and got really upset about it (I don't want to go into detail about it) . So, I stopped watching porn, but I found myself becoming sexually attracted to my roommate. I noticed when I jerked it, that I found myself naturally having homosexual fantasies, and kinda had to force myself to have heterosexual ones. I had constant fights with myself about whether or not I was gay, and this continued on for about a year and a half. My second semester of college, I had a lot of guilt over all the porn and fetishes that I had watched and developed, and was upset over my attraction to dudes. I converted to Catholicism, and basically have used confession as a therapy booth to talk about my problems. Fast forward to a year later, and my relationship had ended due to a shitload of problems (mental health issues, my sexuality, too much baggade) and I went back to watching porn.This past semester of college, I started exploring the gayer side of me more, and I reguarly downloaded gay dating apps (which I would jack off to meeting guys and eventually delete) and just was fascinated about the prospect of meeting a hot dude to do stuff with. Girls didn't seem that attractive to me, but guys just filled my head. I felt guilty about downloaded these apps and the porn that I went to confession about it constantly. It didn't help that I was struggling to get over my previous relationship, for it had been a very tough relationship emotionally, and had caused me a great deal of stress.So, after a few months of doing this, I decided to download tinder one last time right before finals week, and started swiping right on all the guys that I found attractive. I swiped right on some girls, but I matched up with all guys. I started talking to several of them, with a few intersted in hookups, which I was not opposed to, but declined due to my religion (no sex before marriage) and the fact that I would be hooking up with a stranger. Then came Bear (not his name, but his nickname that I call him).I swiped right on him, but deleted my tinder after we were having a nice conversation, so I redownloaded tinder and accidentally swiped past him looking for him, so I bought tinder plus to swip back and continue talking to him. We continued talking, and we then exchanged snapchats. We both unmatched from all of our other matches and we started sending photos to each other. It didn't take long for those snapchats to become explicit. We started to become incredibly sexual, and it was the most excited that I have ever felt in my life. I had never been so turned on by someone before, and we continued hitting it off. Eventually finals ended, and I moved back home. When I was moving out to go back home, I told my brother (who was helping me move out) about Bear and I kinda teared up talking to him about it, for it was something that I was keeping a secret for a while about the fact that I was sexually attracted to men. I had come out to my fraternity brothers about a month prior to moving out. Moving back home is when the problems started.I was still sexually attracted to guys when I got home, and continued talking to Bear. We became friends on facebook before I came home and had started messaging each other on there. Ever since I got home, my sexuality and attraction to him seem to wavor, and I continued watching gay porn and all that. I found myself starting to feel some sexual attraction to girls, which hadne't really been a thing for several months. I started becoming incredibly depressed, and I went through periods in which I wouldn't talk to Bear so I could figure things out. I came out to my friends as biseuxal with a strong preference for guys before my mental health began to decline even further.About two weeks ago, I started to feel resentment to my hypersexualized gay side and started resenting the fact that I was talking to Bear, and it was like my brain was rejecting the gay side of me that I was started to embrace and enjoy. I started to hate myself even more, and with that people around me, especially gay people. I knew what was happening was not who I was, for I had never hated gay people or really felt homophobic before. The nightclub shooting happened, and that was the first shooting that really fucked with me, for the shooter was a gay man that hated himself and he had killed so many people that were just like me. I almost came out to my dad that day, and I'm glad I didn't, for I knew I wasn't ready yet. My depression got worse and worse, and I started wishing for the gay in me to come back. I wanted to feel sexually attracted to guys again, but it seemed like I was forcing it. I started finding girls to be somewhat attractive, but not even as close that I had found Bear to be when I first started talking to him. My depression got so bad that I stopped feeling anything, and started hating members of my own family. To clarify, I am not really a hateful person, and I am incredibly close with my family. I came out to my mom, and I still question why I did for I don't believe I was ready. I was getting so upset that I was losing the strong gay feeling that I had that I started feeling numb, and I have been constantly googling to see if anyone else in the world had ever felt like this. I loved the fact that I was gay, for it seemed so much fun, and my experience with girls hasn't been the greatest. I flew to California the other day for a job, and yesterday I broke down for I couldn't feel anything, and I felt like a literal robot just drifting through the motions. I went out to some local gay bars in the area that I'm in (Santa Cruz) to see if I could "become" gay again. So, this brings me here, asking you guys for help.I'm sorry for the incredibly long post, but this has been difficult to understand and rationalize, and the only thing that is close to even what I could be experience is some bisexual's experience with what is called a "bi-cycle". I just can't find myself attracted to those guys that I was attracted to, and its really fucking with me, for I don't want to really go with girls again.TL;DR: Bi guy who is mostly gay loses his gayness and needs advice.