Gave myself till Monday to kill myself

[No Regrets] [remorse] Basically can't do it anymore, generic depression post, I'm 34 single and 250ish pounds, CICO - ( calories in/ calories out) ain't working and I'm so tired of being a fat ugly blob, I'm out, gave myself this weekend to say goodbye to my family, though they won't know it's goodbye, I don't want to hurt them but I feel out of options, and I'm taking as many pain killers as I can get, I'm scared but I went through suicidal attempts when I was coming out as gay as a teen so at least I know what to expect till a certain point. This isn't a pity post, more like a way of confirming what I feel I need to do I guess. I'm just sorry to my parents that I didn't have the strength to push through depression. I love them so much but therapy doesn't work nor does the massive list of other things your meant to try either.