Forming Perspective (First time post)

I was talking to my current boyfriend about my first interactions with gay people. As I was sharing it I began to realize how much these first experiences formed the way I view gay men. I want to share and see if this is a similar experience or not. Also I would like to find out how people who have had similar experiences dealt with it.This may be long but stick with me. There are 5 stories that were my first interactions with gay guys.My first interaction with a gay man was my next door neighbor during the summer between middle school and high school. One day he was sitting in front of my door in my bedroom and started jacking off. I tried to leave but he started laughing and telling me it wasnt that big of a deal and that all guys do this together. He listed off people that we knew that he said had also done this. I felt weird about it but didn't know for sure if he was lying or not because i didn't have any friends. So I just threw a blanket on him and turned on the tv and tried to ignore him. He then told me that I was making him feel bad and that I should join him. Honestly I wanted to join him but I also didnt want to out myself. I felt like he had pressured me enough that there wasnt a way that he could out me with out implicating himself. So I joined him. Every day that summer we masturbated together. During the first week of high school we were hanging out and he started jacking off again but I didnt want to join just because I wasnt in the mood. So I ignored him and kept playing xbox. The whole time he gave me a play by play of what he was doing in hopes of enticing me to join. When he finished he got really awkward and said he had something to do. I was caught off guard by this because normally we hang out all day even after we jack off. However this time not the case and we never hung out again.The second was later in high school. I had always felt rather different. However I was highly involved in school. I happened to know two guys that were both in marching band with me and also were in theater with me. These guys seemed to be different in the same way I was different. (I now know that that difference was that they were gay )So I wanted to be friends with them. However they just didnt like me. They were all about the intrigue of not being gay but hanging out with each other and sometimes gay things happened. I guess I didn't operate enough cloak and dagger for them. I have never been about unneeded social nuisances. I normally am straight forward and dont cloud my intentions. So they pushed me away hard. Even though I tried to be their friend. (This made me feel like not only was i different from most people I was even too different from the people that shared the difference of being gay with me. )I came out before the following story.Third interaction: Is my first time. I was a wrestler in high school. I met this guy from an opposing schools wrestling team. He was straight forward like me and we had similar interest. It was really fun talking to him and getting to know each other. Eventually we were at his house one night and had decided to have sex. He told me he was nervous because he thought I was so beautiful and that I was out of his league and he didnt want ruin it with me. I assured him that I dont think thats true. That I find him extremely attractive and that even if it was a not so enjoyable experience I would still like him. So I bottomed for him and I had no idea you had to do things to prepare. So chaos ensues. He seemed pretty chill about it. I apologized and suggested we shower together. He didnt want to shower with me. I didnt think much of it and just was like okay. I showered and he cleaned off and I asked him what we were going to do now. He responded that he had something to do in the morning and that I should go. I chucked that up to he felt weird because it was both of our first times. However we never talked again after that except him occasionally hitting me up to try to hook up with me.Fourth: Met a guy who I went to high school with and had a crush on. We went out to eat and then got a movie. We had good interactions however he was intensely flirting with me physically. He kept rubbing my leg and my arm and stuff. I just thought, cool this guy thinks im hot. We picked out a movie from red box go to my place and start watching it. Before the title screen is even over he is all over me. I tell him to stop that I really want to watch this movie. He asked me if I was joking. I told him I wasnt that I really wanted to get to watch this movie with him. He said that he was too horny to do that and that we could watch it after we fucked. I said okay and we went upstairs to my room and I toped him. I made him cum before me and he made me stop fucking him. I asked him what was wrong and he told me that I should never let him cum first. I kinda of smiled because honestly I was just proud I made him cum from fucking him. He then said he had to go. I asked about the movie and he just grabbed my face and said, “You’re too beautiful, You are going to get hurt a lot.”. Inside i was just like WTF! He left and that was that.Fifth: Was talking to this guy through okcupid. Hit it off well. We were going to hang out with him and his friends. I had made it extremely clear that I wasn't into hooking up with him. So we were all going to go to ihop and hang out. While I was on the way to IHOP he told me that his friends are taking longer than he thought so just to meet him at his house to wait for them. So I went and when I was there he told me that they werent going anymore. I suggested that he and I just go to IHOP but he said he didnt really want to go. So he wanted to watch a movie at his house. I was annoyed but what if what he was saying was true. I questioned him and he assured me it was true. So we watched a movie and of course had sex. Afterward he got up and started getting dressed to go somewhere... I asked him what was up and he said he was headed to IHOP with his friends... At this point I was extremely hurt and pissed so I just stared at him fuming fighting the urge to punch him or do something else equally dramatic. So after 2 mins or so of me staring him down he said to me, "What do you expect?" This really struck a nerve in me. I expected people to be decent. I expected them to value others and their communicated wishes. I expected people to be more honest and trustworthy. I left with out saying anything to him. I was so pissed and sad I just cried while I drove home.To this day I feel like I dont fit in with gay men. I feel like they are generally selfish, dishonest, and hyper-sexualized assholes. Whom lack a value for others beyond what they can offer them. That somehow I'm not good enough for them, other than sexually. I hadnt realized how this view was formed from my first experiences. It also made me realize that I had lowered my standards considerable since the first guy. Which made me think about my current boyfriend and realize that there are quite a few things that would simply be unacceptable to me before I had these interactions.I realize that feeling like generally all gay guys are like this is ridiculous. However it isnt a thought that I can just change based on understanding its feelings that develop based on experience and I haven’t had experiences to make it otherwise. I also realize that I'm overly trusting and take what people say at face value. I do this because I say things at face-value and Im a trustful person so I treat others as if they were me. I dont do that so freely anymore but if I feel like I cant take someone at face-value or they aren't trustworthy I just dont interact with them.Remember im sharing to see if my experiences are common or not and to get advice from anyone with similar experiences and how they respond to them. I'm not trying to attack anyone. I try on a daily bases to rectify my interactions with gay men. These are just my experiences and my conclusions/hurt from my experiences.