How my heart got crushed and rose from the ashes.

I'm a dude who just started dating guys about 9 months ago and the last time I was with a girl was 7 years ago.Well, tonight my heart got crushed. Right. In. Front. Of. Me.I met a guy -- let's name him Jeff-- last week through a mutual friend when we were at a bar. We had a good chat that time. I ran into him again this afternoon because I play sports with our mutual friend. And today was the day I decided to learn the moment of truth.After a few minutes of chatting today, I asked him, "Hey man you're really cute, and I was wondering if you'd be down to hang sometime. No pressure though." He said he was not interested, so we ended up having a friendly conversation and went on to talk to other people, and then went home to our separate ways.Well, tonight I went out with the same group of friends to a gay club. Jeff was there too. Moments later, He was making out with a dude that's somewhat similar to me but only skinnier (I'm buff). I was 2 feet away from this guy that I've been head-over-heels for the last 2 weeks and he was making out with a guy that's similar to me. It crushed my heart.Every moment I saw them made out, I felt the pain in my heart. No, it wasn't just a simple rejection. It was seeing the person chosen was no different to me. That should've been me. Did I not play my cards right? Had I asked him when he was drunk tonight than when he was sober in the afternoon, would have it been different?Should I hit on other guys, so that the thought of Jeff would not bother me tonight? -- No. I must not. It wouldn't be fair for the guy and for me. I must face this inner pain head on. I will not look away, and I will learn to feel the pain from within. I will acknowledge it. I will live with it at that moment. As each minute passed by, it felt like a hammer was crushing my heart.After an hour or two, the hammer that was hitting my heart was slowly losing its force. I could still feel it hit my heart, but it wasn't as painful anymore. I became chattier now with other people whether strangers or friends, and started dancing more too. The thought of Jeff was no longer bothering me as much.The night wrapped up with Jeff leaving with his guy. I saw them walked out. I smiled. Not because I was happy for them, but because I was proud of me.I started walking towards my car smiling for I've learned something about myself tonight:I consciously chose to not hit on other guys to forget someone. I would just be lying to the guy and to myself.I learned how to feel heartache and not suppress it. My therapist from when I started coming out told me that it is not bad to feel anger, sadness, and other negative emotions. I believe heartache is in the same category. And I survived it.I'm proud of myself. I'm still new to the game, and now I know what I can be capable of for next time.