I hate being gay and I hate myself.

I have been an openly gay kid in high school since freshman year. I live in a pretty liberal area, and coming out has only held me back. I have not had major bullying, but just a little teasing here and there. That's not the major problem though. It's majorly the perception of who I am to others, specifically other males, and all the social ramifications of being gay. I feel like the gay stereotype has limited me greatly to being close friends only with females. I get the impression other males are too afraid to hang out with me, they are afraid of being labeled "gay". I am a junior now, and I have yet to make any bro like friends, or even any close male friends at all. I detest the label "gay" entirely, and all its stereotypes now, and sometimes I grow extremely insecure about it.Was I very effeminate when I spoke just now? Am I walking masculine enough? Are my mannerisms, and posture, manly enough? These are the questions that run through my head daily as I walk through the halls of my school. Relationships have just been a nightmare as well. I have been led on by a variety of straight boys and had my heart broken. High school so far has been watching straight people have fun.The other gay people in my school are all weirdos who are into weird fashion, or are overly flamboyant, when I just want a normal guy. I don't know if my rant is reasonable, but sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I just stayed in the closet, and was normal for once. I hate everything about my sexuality, and its social implications.Has anyone else felt similarly? Will things get better with college? Can things get better now?