How do I either A.) go forward with a desire consuming me since I was 3 and risk getting an STD or B.) not do this and hate myself every day because I'm not following my heart because I'm paranoid about STDs

Basically I'm about 95% certain the guy I'm with is clean, and I want to go all the way and go raw with him. I haven't physically seen his tests, but I have every reason to know he's clean. He hasn't seen mine, either. We have agreed to an exclusive relationship as well (not seeing anyone other than us). We've taken things very slow, but have only met twice so far. Military lifestyle for both of us.I basically just feel like I'm being paranoid. We've done it safely, we just want to feel it more. I feel like I'm going to scare him away, but I also have already told him about this, and have been reassured of his test results. Last guy he slept with raw was over a year ago. So I guess I just feel like enough time has passed since his last test and that to feel like it's 'safe'.But obviously typing this out is making it not seem so safe. UGGH. Obviously I need to see the results if I want to be sure....... how do you guys get over this mental shit....