Considered ugly in the gay world

ok.. this won't have any correct answer but I just need to put it all out. I'm 19 years old. In my country I'm considered what we call mulatto (mixed people, half european, half african). Half of us are mulattos and the other half white, but white here is considered more beautiful than mulatto. I have been with some guys before but nothing really serious, just hook ups and I'm completely done with it, I really want a guy to date me but I never get a guy cause I am considered ugly in the gay world for not being skinny (I'm not fat tho) and mulatto. It's actually funny because i don't consider myself that ugly, not handsome obviously but also not ugly and this makes me really sad, it really puts me down and sometimes I feel like the ugliest person in the world although I know I'm not. Do you guys go through this?