How do you accept yourself?

I don't know what to put here but maybe if I post this here I could have better self-esteem so here it goes.I'm 20, haven't told anyone I'm gay, and was addicted to PMO until last year when I felt I'm tired of this and decided to take the NoFap challenge. But that's not the main point.Loneliness. I have no friends, didn't finish college, and I don't even feel talking about these in real life to my family. I don't know. It's unfair. It's like this world is catered to straight people. I'm jealous of straight people but I don't dislike my being gay. Actually I'm thankful that I get attracted to guys. Don't get me wrong though, I respect women. Is it even worth having a partner? I feel like I don't deserve it and so that's related to the reason why I joined NoFap. It's like being asexual suits me better. I'm just gonna focus on my dreams and then be celibate forever.Sure the concept of sex seems fun but for me sex is something you're supposed to do to the one you love. What I'm really thankful too is that I haven't had any of those. Still a virgin :) I'm absolutely gonna regret if I had sex with some random men. It's hard to trust someone. Am I being overprotective or am I just a coward?So what do you think? I know it's ridiculous, and weird. I don't even know what kind of answer I'm asking.