Do you truly understand?

Hi, So, this is my first post on this (currently confusing) site. I've been wanting to post anonymous things about how I feel now for such a long time, because even if people have judgement to pass on, no one will ever [hopefully] trace it back to me!Growing up, I had such a hard time, I mean I was a fabulous kid with a nasty secret.. I was gay. Not that it was ever really a problem for me, it was just this daunting as fuck shadow that lingered over me that was one day going to overshadow me.I guess there has never really been a point in my 18 years of existence that I've felt like I've belonged anywhere. Growing up I was that skinny pale kid with a lisp, freckles, and an extremely anti-social behaviour. Fast forward to now, and I am a fat, underachiever, with a nice tan and almost over social, with my only friend being the girl I live with.. (With the exception of cute boy #1 who I am currently talking with).I work in an establishment that is suppose to 'Protect' me from discrimination, but even the 'powers that be' laugh behind my back at how I basically leave a rainbow trail everywhere I walk, or snicker about how my sex life seems to have anything even remotely to do with them.Then I have parents who not only denied me of my sexuality for so many years, it got to the point where I was severely depressed, suicidal and for the best part of the time... A hermit.I met this guy, incredibly good looking, foreign as fuck, and an amazing lover, or at least I thought. He turned out to be like everyone else in Australia's gay community; Shallow, sex hungry, willing to take whatever 7" dick and body type the gay version of subway could supply him and overall an outright cunt. So I guess my run in so far with all this crap has been nothing less then utter disappointment.I wish I could just have someone to talk to about these things, rather then complaining to a heap of people who may very well never read this from start to end.But, for those who do!Thank you.