15 M very confused and I don't feel like I'll ever know

My confusion is very different, because I have one critical element: a porn and masturbation addiction. No, I don't fap every two seconds, and no, I don't watch fucked up shit. But I can't quit and i know it's affecting my view on life and motivation. I'm trying very hard to quit, but it's really hard because porn is my drug. I recommend all of you check out /r/nofap or /r/pornfree (don't mean to advertise, I really really mean it). Some people call it cultish and get the wrong idea about us, because they never thought porn or masturbatiom could be addictive. We're really on it to, like every other addict, self improve and get rid of a dependency. Anyways, I'll go to my point now.Guys are hot, especially muscled and bearish types. I've loved this body type since I was a kid and used to look at them as if they were something special. I've done the same to certain pretty girls though. The thing is, I've never had a gay crush, while I've had a straight crush. To this date, that has been my only crush, my brain is so used to these hairy pixelated men having sex that I don't think it thinks people are what I'm looking for. This is another reason why I'm trying to quit.These men give me boners. They are eye candy to me. But I've never had a chance to build a close relationship with any guys. Partly because I'm shy, but also because I share no interests. I get along better with women. I said I had a girl crush earlier, I found her cute and really liked her personality. I never got hard to her or any straight porn though. The moment I first saw porn I was looking at the penis. It's just confusing. It's like so far, with guys I feel like I could have a relationship (I don't know if I woild ever do anal yet, but i guess we'll see if I ever get a gay crush. All I know is, I would top, lol) but it hasn't happened. With girls, I feel like I could be a relationship (but because society I feel pushed to try and feel sexual towards them, but it ain't happening as of now.)EDIT: I put the two above paragraphs because I'm not sure if porn has screwed with my sexuality because of conditioning. It's why a lot of perfectly straight guys get into trans porn.Do you have any idea? All Thats certain from this whole thing is that when I'm older I will strive to get that sexy muscle bear body! ;)