I'm 28 and Brant my ex-husband just turned 39 in June, need relationship boundary advice as he has a new boyfriend and we can't legally get divorced! Ugh, Gays!!!

I am turning 29 in December and Brant my ex-husband just turned 39 this past June and well there is a complication on us leaving off on good terms and the help of advice on how to approach boundaries would be nicely put for help!We been together since 2002, which is twelve years since I was 16 and he was 26'ish and then we got married in 2009 and didn't rush things like most people do when it comes to life changing decisions. Well here is where things get interesting, I was born and raised in the UK and came to US in 1998 and now hold dual-citizenship and he was born and raised in Indiana and those two upbringings are totally not alike at all and so for the first many years it was culture barrier after culture barrier and misunderstanding and explanations, you know basically the time to truly get to know one another. In 2002, we met by chance and no intervention / website / mates and it all started from there and finally in 2005 I moved up the SF are to go to University and then in 2007 I bought us a house in Nob Hill as he wanted to still live in the City and not up near my Campus at Berkeley or Davis and so I commuted. I dropped everything and bought us the house I currently own still in two weeks when the last month of both our leases was due to lapse. I dropped my life to make it permanent with him in SF, no questions asked! Well we got married in 2009 and then when I started flying to/from London and Manchester from Dallas and Los Angeles in 2010 as a Purser for American, things went sour a bit. I would take lots of trips and stay several extra days anytime I could back home in England (Raised in Chorlton in Greater Manchester, which is what I am told is like a 'suburb' of Manchester) and I would come home after seeing family and mates with a thicker accent which he could never truly understand at times, slang that he just agreed to pretend knowing its meaning and the missing of home and thus longer trips home whenever I could and then in January 2012 I decided that I wanted to move back to Manchester or Cardiff and live for a few years and then I got the courage to ask that of Brant. I simply one night when he got in from work. that since I dropped all and made it possible to always live in the City of SF and not East Bay or across the Golden Gate if he would come with me and live back home in the UK for a year or two and then approach the subject, he simply told me that was not going to happen and to not bring it up again and then told me a bit later it was going to be a huge culture shock and that he would not subject himself to that. So then the next day I left for a five day trip to the UK for work, I got into London and FaceTime called him and told him that I think its over and that we need to discuss moving forward what the plan is when I get home in four days time. Well, fast forward a bit... I moved to Dallas and bought a 2-Bedroom flat in downtown by the awesome above the freeway park, an extra bedroom if he wanted to ever visit. I effectively told him and put in writing that I would never evict him and that per the prenuptial agreement he gets a situated out lump sum of assets and can't ask for anything more of me in the future. So the not having to pay the yearly taxes on the house in SF or any of the bills and that was an added bonus because i did not want to live in SF anymore and his entire life is rooted there. Well, it gets better... We are both active Catholic Church members and my family are also hardcore at that, so divorce in my family and for us in the eyes of god is not in the cards. So we have chosen to stay married as he says that he isn't going to get married again and I doubt I will find another great guy like him, minus the culture clash issues. So now he has a new boyfriend and has for 2yrs now and that boyfriend was just over 18 when they got together and I do visit SF occasionally and I have my own bedroom and keys and such... The boyfriend doesn't know the bills and property taxes are all in my name and I pay them (House was paid for in full when buying it) and so it is awkward when I am there and not fitting in... Get's a bit better... Me and Brant still do love one another, just are realistic that we are not working or going to work after the hangup on my culture and upbringing and way of life I prefer, yet when I visit and his boyfriend is at work, or not there as sometimes I tell him to go to his parents up in like Richmond for some days... Me and brant will cuddle and we will fuck (no protection, he is legally my husband) and then do the stuff we used to do together like meals, going out in the city, the zoo and shit like that together. We don't do the romantic things like hold hands or kiss in public or that. I mean we still have joint car insurance, he drives my car I left up in SF when I am not using it when there, he uses my free spouse flight benefits with American anytime he wants, I come up just to see him sometimes, we are each others emotional support and crisis go-to person for each other and there are several topics that I would only speak with him about and nobody else in the world...So, Proper boundaries for the ex-husband I can't morally divorce... that I fuck with sexually, cuddle and go out together with, go to each other for emotional support and crisis situation help and shit...Any boundary related tips or advice would be nice and I know I should stop those things, but with someone for 13 years and so intertwined you stop and then it still just happens some how!!!<3 Austyn