Caught feelings. Please slap sense into me.

I am a gay man who's never been in a relationship before. I guess that is why i am latching onto anything that remotely resembles what could be a relationship. I assure you i am not creepy, i just have very low self-confidence. I recently 'met' a guy in an online game. I know it's a guy because he uses his voice chat feature a lot. We started playing together even more and exchanged contact information.However, I still don't know what he looks like. I only know what he sounds like and boy, his voice is super sexy. Fuck me right? He's also very gentle during our gaming bouts, which is a far cry from the gaming community. I might have just fell for a gentle voice in the sky because I can't wait to play a few rounds with him and when I am not, I am dreaming of what this prince looks like and how we can deepen our friendship.I don't excessively text him or talk to him because he doesn't seem very interested in deepening this friendship by engaging in casual conversation with me outside of matches - which is already a surefire sign that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with me than a good gaming partner.But seriously, i am in love with this gentle gaming bro because his voice is like honey. Please slap some sense into me. My friend said that whatever I want is never going to happen. My friend is right, my brain is right but my heart can't see past those. And while I guess it's good that I fell for someone's personality before their looks, this is just plain old stupid and in the wrong context. Oh, he has a girlfriend too. Guys, I am such a mess.

When straight married women hit on you because they know you're a lesbian and they, "used to date girls." ....they know the pussy's good. They know they're man ain't hittin it right. They know they want this.

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Think I am bi.

So yeah, I've never had any type of relationships with another guy, only women. I find women extremely attractive and I see my self spending the rest of my life with women. Here's the thing, I frequently masturbate to gay porn, probably about 65% homo and 35% hetero. I have always loved the way the penis looks and sometimes fantasize about sucking one and having sex with another guy on top of many other things. But, I don't find the male face attractive in anyway. I've never pictured myself kissing another guy and being in a relationship with another guy. But whenever I am done masterbating to gay porn I feel dirty and I a little disgusted in myself (please seriously, no offense). I guess what I'm trying get at, is that I'm super confused, I really want to experiment, but I'm not sure how that I'm going to like how I feel after. Has anyone else been in this situation before?

Would you date someone who travels a lot?

Would this bother you? Would you be able to build trust or remain monogamous?

Meeting guys in college?

I'm an 18 y/o guy who about to graduate from high school. I've never been in a relationship due to the fact that I'm only out to my best friends. I've had this question for a while now, and I'm finally getting around to asking it. Where would/do you guys meet other gay guys? Other than apps like tinder and grindr, which let's be honest here, they're great for sex but not so great for finding dates, I have no idea how to meet other people. I'm attending a university next semester if that widens the suggestions. Any help would be appreciated :)

All That Is Solid Melts Into Air

This is not a cry for help, but a recording of someone who may have never really existed at all. This is me etching my thoughts into the recesses of the internet as something concrete, as if to point to it and say “yes, I existed. Here’s the proof.” Ultimately though I know this is a contradiction because I’ve lived my entire life through the internet and feel that I have no concrete existence within it. All of my friendships and relationships have been propelled through the digital world, but there’s no authenticity within this world. Every time I try to establish some sort of concrete event to anchor the digital to the physical, I fail. I tell my best friend online that I would like to meet him and he brushes me off. He doesn’t trust me with his address, his phone number, very little personal information, nothing concrete. If he were an artificial intelligence completely devoid of humanity, I wouldn’t know the difference. He could completely remove me from his life with a few easy clicks. The same can be said for any relationship that I’ve held online. The simple solution is to stop searching for fulfillment in cyberspace, but it’s far too late for that. In waking life I’m much too scarred and scared to change. It would be easier to melt away into obscurity. I can only have the semblance of being alive through the internet. I’m trying so hard to keep coming back, to keep searching for authenticity, to validate my existence, but I keep coming to the conclusion that nothing is real and everything I know is a construction. That I can be easily replaced by everyone I care about and I can because I’m nothing but text or a voice through the digital void. In many ways I do not exist. My real personality is here, what I do in waking life is not me. Both are inherently fake though since I’m so easily replaceable online. As my friends and relationships age we will all drift apart in cyberspace and all that exists now will melt into air. I will be replaced and forgotten within the decade. I'm numb to the idea.

What's the best way to ask if someone is mad/annoyed with you? I don't want to sound whiny but I just feel like he is annoyed with me.

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