First relationship please help;p

Warning: Long postI am 19 years old. Let me preface this story by letting you know I am not out of the closet. I told my mom about a year ago, but ended up telling her that I lied shortly after. I probably knew that I was gay since I was old enough to understand the meaning of the word, but I haven’t ever been able to accept myself.I have always been relatively masculine. I gravitated the trouble makers in school. Through grade school and middle school the kids I hung around seemed to have a biased towards gays. Up until about 6th grade I myself would go along with it. I have even participated in some petty bullying(feel bad about it to this day, as I know how it feels to be on the receiving end.)Around the beginning of 7th grade I couldn’t convince myself that these feelings were imaginary. It made me feel sick. I just wanted to be “normal”. I could not, and even today really can’t accept who I am for fear of being rejected my my friends or family. I’m sure 95-100% of my friends today would not care at all, but even though I know my small circle of friends aren’t homophonic, I’ve heard what their opinion of gay people actually is.About a week ago I downloaded this dating app called Grindr. My first mistake was looking for an actually relationship on an app that seems to be more geared towards lust than love. After talking to a few different guys I decided to go out on a date with someone. He was nice and everything went well. He ended up inviting me back to sleep over and I did. We just cuddled and kissed. Nothing more.We have been spending almost every night together at his house just cuddling and watching tv. As of Sunday we officially started to “date”. In my opinion it seemed like he was pushing things too fast but I was just exited to try something new. I liked his company and didn’t want it to end. I actually asked him out but it was a result of being pressured into it. He has even been telling me that he loves me, and I usually respond with the same for lack of anything better to say.Last night the two of us and his roommate went out to dinner and I had a horrible time. The entire meal he kept grabbing at my dick and making me squirm in my seat. People kept looking and he would keep doing it. I was turning red and getting upset, telling him to stop. He kept doing it while laughing that he was embarrassing me. At one point he even put his head in my lap and started trying to take off my belt with his mouth. Granted it was 11pm, and the place was only a 5th full, but I could tell he was making others( me especially) uncomfortable. He had his hands on my when our waitress came over at one point and I couldn’t even make eye contact with her. Besides that he took my phone and was going through my messages, and wouldn’t give it back.Overall last night made me realize I don’t really want to be with this person. Besides him not respecting me, I have a submissive side he wouldn’t be able to satisfy. I think I just wanted a reason to come out of the closet to my family and friends, but now I have to figure out how to break up with someone i asked out 2 days ago before I’m back to square one. I snuck out of his place early this morning, and I don’t know what my next step should be or how I should handle it. I know I owe him an explanation, I just want to do it it the least awkward and gentle way possible. Appreciate any advice.