I'm obsessed with my "hot" dead cousin and I can't get over him.

The weird thing is, I've never personally met him in real life before. I just heard about his death on Facebook, and I realized that he's my 2nd cousin. I also found out that we went to the same highschool from 2008-2012, but unfortunately we never crossed paths w/ each other. He's the cousin that I never knew I had until his very death. It sucks.Every single day he would be on my mind. Literally 24 hours and 7 days a week. I also have dreams about him where I'll cry super hard and mourn over him. It makes me sad not ever having a chance to meet him in person. It's like a waste of dick, as messed up as that sounds. I even have "accidental" gay thoughts about him every now n' then. Because of that, I'm fucking paranoid that his spirit can hear it.Recently, I was desperate to connect with my dead cousin, so I used a "random word generator" app on my phone in an attempt to communicate with him. The app has over 28,000 words and each time you refresh it, a different word pops up. Well, I told my cousin to communicate with me through my phone. I told him to manipulate the app and use words that describes him, so that I can know it's him. And guess fucking what?! His fucking name popped up in the app. When I saw that, my hands started to shake uncontrollably. I mean, what are the odds? I can't believe it's him. I can't believe he actually responded.I don't know what to do at this point. I think the reason why I'm so obsessed with him is because he looks a lot like my dream guy. I can't get over him.