Please Like Me, Again?

I'm new to Reddit (21, Male, closeted), I don't even know if this is the right Community, but here we go! So, I have this friend, that I like so much that it feels wrong to name him as just "friend". I met him at my first day of high-school, and we were best friends instantly. I never had felt so happy being with another person, in short I thought we were perfect together. But after all these years as friends I never could tell him that I'm gay, I was just too happy with him, the mere possibility of losing him because I'm gay was scary enough to keep me in the closet, even though I trusted him, I got very close of telling twice, but always failed in the last instant [I doubt I'd lie if he directly questioned me]. Fast-foward a bit, and by the end of high-school, he was accepted in a University far from our hometown, and I was rejected from everywhere I applied [It's OK]. After he was gone, it became impossible to meet, but we were messaging daily, however, he was slowly changing, somehow. The problem is, that over the last year (2016) I've been realizing that he wasn't interested in talking to me anymore, he would just reply shortly, almost never texted first and our conversations wouldn't last as much as usual. So, all starts in New Year's Eve when he decided to text me that to tell he was dating guys from now on; and sidenote, even as close friends, we never talked about our sexuality so I was sure he was straight, probably just as much he thought I'm straight. So it was a real shock to me; he even sent a photo with his boyfriend and I was so joyful for being able to finally be completely honest with him, but suddenly, I was miserable, in fact, so miserable that I couldn't tell what I was feeling. I've feared that overtime I could lose him forever if I ignored that I was feeling bad for his happiness, so after some days I've decided to send an email telling that I was gay too, and said that we were distancing from each other and we couldn't keep things as is, so... I told that I loved him because I've concluded that I was jealous of him, as I thought that jealously was making me fell bad. He replied at the same day that he wasn't interested in me as anything more than a friend, suggesting to meet new people as I would find someone I truly love. And, it was OK that he didn't want me as a love interest because, later I realized that I wasn't jealous I was feeling envy, and angry [And I'm so sorry]. Envy that it was so easy for him to come out and find a boyfriend, and angry that he didn't trust me. I mean, the day he texted me about his boyfriend, he confessed that I was the last one of his list of friends to come out, and he experimented with this guy, now his boyfriend, in a party, just two months ago. Please, understand that I've been for more than 10 years in the closet, more than 10 years that I couldn't live my life, and now I feel a certain lag compared to people of my age, including this guy, and he overcame so easily [I know, reading aloud I sound terrible, but I'm being honest, that's how I feel]. And I know that I shouldn't care about how many people he came out before telling me, and he came out so he could feel better about himself, it's not about me. But after all we've been together in the last 7 years, it hurts being nothing more than a friend, the last of the list, to be precise. AND KEEPING A SECRET FOR TWO MONTHS?! Aside from my sexual orientation I've never hidden anything from him. The worst part is that he would actively dodge any questions I've made about the party. The truth is that I miss him, as we've barely talked for almost two months [Since New Year's Eve], a new record for us. I'm still worried about what he's feeling now, it breaks my heart not being able to listen to him, and I want to be at his side when he decides to come out to his family. Sometimes I wonder if he had grown up, met new people and I'm just a relic of his past that stayed the same. I worry that can't recognize him anymore, and we will get along just as much, if he changed so much? I care so much about him. Now I'm trying to meet him in person to talk, but he never seems to come back. I really hope that I'm overthinking the situation and it'll all be normal again once we talk.So please, tell me, Do you feel that you missed part of your life being closeted? Why such small problems can consume our sanity? Should love/friendship be reciprocal? Would you do anything different?Thanks for taking the time to read, And I'm sorry for my broken English. [And if you show interest, I'll update]