Advice on handling family

I'm gay and in the process of outing myself. My parents know and love me the same, but my brother, dad's and mom's sides of the family don't know.My mom's side has shown complete support for the LGBT+ community through friendships and personal conversations I've had with them. These aren't the people I'm worried about.My other set of grandparents are extremely homophobic, stating in front of me "we don't like the gays." This was apparently due to my grandpa being a police officer and dealing with loud, trampy, drunk gay people that he'd arrested. My aunts and uncles make fun of the community, and I can't actually judge if they're being serious or not. The same goes for my brother.Normally this wouldn't matter, except I literally see my dad's side of the family every week, my brother every day. We live 40 minutes away from each other, and I'm still dependent on my parents (I'm 17, 18 later this year). Basically, I'd be forced into meetings with them whether or not it goes well. After 5 years of knowing that I'm gay, it's really annoying to hide something that's so insignificant to who I am as a person, that's brought up with the weekly aggravating question "do you have a girlfriend yet?"I have letters typed up for each one of these family members, and have had these typed for a few months now. The only reason that I haven't sent them yet is because I'm having trouble trying to imagine my life without these people who I love dearly.I don't know how to handle the situation honestly. If things go well, then nothing would change. If things went the way I think they might go (yay for pessimism), I'll be locked away from my three year old cousin, lose my favorite relative and the adoration that I have for my grandparents. Family meetings would make me mentally unstable and I'll be in a junior college living at home for the next 2 years (subjected to the same amount of emotional suffering).Sorry for the long post, and thank you for reading. Any advice that you have at all will be considered because honestly waiting this long for something so trivial is stupid and a waste of my time.