Needed advice/support.

Well just yesterday I cut off ties completely with my ex boyfriend. We were trying for weeks to be friends but it just didn't work. In the past I was horrible not only to him but our friends consequently losing them now.My anxiety/paranoia made me into such a horrible person a lot of the times, making me irritable, annoyed so I took it out on him, and understandably he couldn't take it anymore. He said he just couldn't talk to me anymore, he doesn't like me and I understand that. However, I depended on him so much and i'm not very a independent guy, I find it very difficult to be independent with many things.I don't really have any close friends that I can talk to really, I've lost them.This is more like a vent than anything else, I apologise.