Why do I have to have a crush on my best friend?

I don't even know why I'm posting this, sorry about any grammar mistakes. So I've accepted I was gay since I realised (last year sometime I guess), but I only came out to my mum yesterday, first and only person. I assume my best friend thinks I'm gay, because he'd always ask which girls I thought were hot and I wouldn't answer but now he seems to have just stopped.

But anyway, this guy seems to be straight. Although as I said he stopped talking about girls' hotness so maybe he's realised he's gay (I can dream). I've known him for a while, maybe since year 5. There used to be many times where he'd be getting dressed behind me, threatening me to make me not look, we used to sleep in the same bed at his house, even with a guest bed in the room (these probably both ended last year), he's shirtless whenever swimming. I just want him to come up to me and kiss me. I'll never tell him how I feel because it'll probably ruin the friendship, I just wish so badly he'd kiss me, cuddle with me.

I really hope I stop having this crush soon.