My girlfriend and her friend [ 22 M] are very close. Brother/sister close. "Gay best friend" close. (I hate to use the term because he is not gay, but its the only way to describe it) Messaging nearly very day. Phone calls. Gossiping. But from her perspective purely platonic. And I don't mind at all. They are best friends.
This is where I need advice/help
The two of them always used to always "pal around" together on nights out before me and her got together. This is starting to creep into our nights now when we are out drinking or clubbing together.
He is with her a lot. It feels like he is almost competing for her attention with me. (Competing is a strong word but you can understand what I mean). I like to think I m an easy going guy and I don't mind it that much. They are friends. I don't see him as a threat to our relationship. And she wants to talk to him.
But recently it has been difficult to take.
My intention of going out is to spend time with her and have a good time with her. But when she completely is focused on other things, it can be difficult. I have said it to her before that I felt ignored a few nights in the past.
But I don't want to tell her what to do. I don't want to tell the friend what to do. (I am good friends with him...this is how I met her) I don't want to be "possessive". I don't want to impact their relationship for my own selfish reasons. I want her to be happy (and him). I want her to talk to her friends and to talk to me because she wants to.
I just want some advice about how to deal with it. Just some guidance on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation from people who may have experienced this before (or from anyone!).
tl;dr: Our mutual friend is taking up a lot of her attention when we go out on nights together. Need some advice on how to approach the "gay best friend" type situation.
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