I'm visiting some friends at another school, "Mary" and "Dave". We're all staying in Mary's room since her old roommate moved out. We're all hanging out in Mary's common room with her roommates, chatting, she's drinking a little.
Like an hour earlier, my friend and I spent 20 minutes blowing up and tying off 2 condoms, which Mary quickly popped! But hey "we've got 2 more" if we want to do it again.
So we're all joking around about I forget. Dave and I have known each other for 3 years, and we're not gay, but we'll make jokes about us hooking up, being in love, just stupid jokes. And I say:
"Don't worry. We've still got 2 condoms and Mary's a really heavy sleeper."
No one heard the joke the way I meant it. Now I'm the guy from another school who makes rape jokes that are too real to be funny.
tl;dr- staying in female friend's room with male friend & her , said "don't worry, we've still got two condoms and [our female friend] is a heavy sleeper" that was totally misunderstood
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