I'm scared

I've always known that I was gay and people have been trying to out me since middle school. My childhood was a living hell. No matter how hard I tried to make friends, other kids would reject me. Insecurities eventually gained the upper hand as I developed social anxiety disorder and began isolating myself.I've spent the past 6 years trying to overcome my phobia and went out of my way to seek help. Countless attempts have led to nothing. Anxiety has destroyed my entire social life and I have learned to accept it. At least I've made some progress after getting into uni but my social skills remain crap.My biggest fear is that I'll end up companionless forever. Why can't I experience life like everyone else? I need someone on days like this. 😭