Done hiding. Done.

I've been up since 3:30 am this morning because I can't sleep. I can't do this anymore, I really feel like I'm holding everything inside and I'm going to explode. I don't know how I ended up watching a gay inspired movie and a Queer Eye episode but both those shows proved to me that I'm a liar to myself and everyone around me.My parents wonder why I don't go to church with them or even talk to them much anymore and it's because I can't be honest with them. Why would I want to go to church and sit there and lie to myself to make them feel good about themselves?My mom writing that I'm 31 years old and I need to get married and have 2 kids this year really fucking pissed me off. Especially seeing that she wrote that on my fucking birthday card.I have missed out on so many things in my life because I have hidden away from the obvious fact that I am a Gay Black 7th Day Adventist Jamaican American Man.I'm done hiding. If I continue to hide I'm going to end up hurting myself because I go day in and day out thinking about how I'm 31 years old and still can't be comfortable in my own skin.I'm done hiding. Done.