How to meet, ugh, “chasers”?

I used to be really fat. Somehow it melted off when I was in my 20s. I was skinny but never believed it and didn’t take advantage of the moment. Now that I’m in my 30s the fat is back, and beer isn’t helping. I drink because I’m alone and depressed, so it’s feeding on itself.The thing is, i love love, I want to adore someone, ideally forever. I don’t even think I’d want to drink if I was with someone and had a good reason to spend every minute in the moment. I know, it sounds lame thinking a guy will fix my depression thing. But that’s been my history. When I’m with someone I do better even though I’m generally independent.I want to be with someone rad, but I’m not into guys who look like me. I can’t conceive of a way to find someone because I’m out of shape and not a fan of small talk.Short of wasting tons of money being a wallflower at gay bars, how do I find someone who will see me for my good heart and actually like that I’m a fat ass? I’m in San Francisco, so I should be able to figure this out easier than most guys, I just don’t know where to start.Also, I’m hesitant to put my picture in a dating profile because 1) I don’t take a good picture, and 2) it seems embarrassing and some coworker will inevitably find it. So I don’t know what advice I’m actually asking for here…