Dear simon

Hey. I dont need attention, i just need this to get out of my chest. The pressure, the frustration, the stress, and the failure. Dear Simon, precious Simon. I havent watched your movie yet, im about to. Im still holding your movie ticket, two tickets showing by the next hour. I heard your movie is awesome, it inspired a lot of people in our community, but i dont want to read them all since i told myself that you Simon, you will help me to be happy. Months before your show comes out, i told myself that i would watch you with someone else. Im still young, im 19, but i feel the pressure. I feel so lonely. I lost all my friends and ran away from home. I have borderline personality and i really hate it. I guess its still early to say that im alone but i feel like i have noone. I spent my lonely nights in some guy from grindr's bed hoping those happy little times will make me happy, make me satisfied on what im looking for. I guess i was wrong. Simon, im scared. I was suicidal but not because im gay, its because im alone. Now that im getting better, the feeling is going back. I dont want to go back "there", its scary and im not crazy. Simon, i failed you. I said i was going to bring someone to watch you. I almost did. Whats wrong with me? Is it my looks? My personality? Is this life? The popular question like Why cant i be just a normal person? Simon, i need help. Love, Prince.