My mom's put in a tough position regarding coming out...

I'm gay; I've come to accept, embrace, and love that aspect of myself over the course of last year, and little by little, I'm letting the people I love and trust know that aspect of me. My friends all know, and coming out to my dad was a huge moment for me- and, he took it very well; it's had no bearing on our relationship. So the next big step would logically be my mother... but it's not so simple.Growing up, I know people saw gay tendencies in me- I heard the whispers when I was little, and going through adolescence, my step-dad gave me hell for it, and not in a friendly, playful way, either. I lived with him and my mother growing up, and he was very cruel to both of us, and even though the relationship I had with my mom wasn't great either, we did provide each other with some emotional support through it all. But one day, my mom told me something I hadn't expected of her; "(OP), I know we don't agree on much, but if you really are gay, just don't tell me."It wasn't all too surprising- I was raised to look down on gays as being disgusting perverts, and my mom's always been quite vocal about it. At that time, the idea of embracing homosexuality was just plain not on the table, even though deep down, I knew that's how I felt. It didn't shake me much then- that was about 3 or 4 years ago, and the subject hasn't been relevant since.I came to accept being gay at a time I lived alone- I got a boyfriend, fell absolutely in love, and had that love collapse, and me with it. I saw my mom on weekends- in the time of the relationship, and the horrible time post-breakup, that boy was the absolute center of my life, and yet I told my mom nothing, claiming to be single as ever. I sorta wish she could've just found out on accident before, because now I'm in an... interesting conundrum.I've since moved out of my apartment and back in with my mom- I needed a new job, plus she's with a... slightly better guy than the last two... Anyways, I'm making progress getting my things moved, but I'm more worried about continuing the habits I've built since embracing being gay- namely, shaving my body hair. I definitely love being completely smooth all over- it's something that really gives me confidence and makes me happy. I guess some straight guys do that, but it'd be hard to justify doing my legs and armpits too... and as my privacy here is extremely limited, I'd definitely be questioned for being in the bathroom long enough to get it done.And besides that, it may be awhile before I move out again- I don't plan on restricting myself from anyone I might meet because of that. It's just plain not fair being in such an awkward situation just to get around telling her- plus, my mom keeps trying to hook me up with different girls. I really wonder if she meant what she said about not telling her- I know she's going to react badly no matter what. She has very severe anxiety as it is, and chances are, she'll freak out about it- it feels selfish telling her this knowing that inevitable result. But does that make going BACK in the closet after coming so far justified? Is it more cruel excluding her one of the biggest aspects of my life, just to make her think her son is straight?I feel like the bad guy no matter what. I really could use some advice...