2018. február 28., szerda

Boy problems

Probably not the right place to tell this story but damn it, I need some good sensible gays to set me straight. I’m the token lonely yet amazingly and flamboyantly out gay kid at my high school. I really don’t put myself out there unless I really, really like a boy (which is nobody, nobody gay anyways.) Sufficient to say, I am a living forever alone meme. So recently I had an acquaintance get a little too close to me. He’s a flirty guy, has a lot of texts on his phone and has a lot of people after him, all at the same time might I add. But the build up to him making his feelings known to me was natural, he dropped hints here and there until I had to say “I know for a fact you aren’t gay for me.” Long story short, he kissed my cheek, he followed me home, after that we started talking, texting, and seeing each other between classes and after school. This went on for two weeks and in that two weeks we had a lot of disagreements. Among the many arguments in that short amount of time, I found the source of them, for me to be that he was seeing girl. Not only that but he’d flirt with almost anything that moved. And that got to me. That really did. And I knew he had no commitment to me, but I established boundaries and I told him that he was doing things nobody does to me. He’d reason that he loves everybody (suspected polyamory) and we’re just friends anyways, it’s only been a week. And I would try and pull away but he’d just keep up the flattery, the affection, the things I think I need and won’t get for a long time. It was and still is madness. I like the boy, he’s an interesting guy and he’s honestly irresistible. But I know I have to be stronger than that. I’ve cut him off in nothing less than a dramatic fashion but seeing as I’m writing this right now, I haven’t exactly moved on. And I know time is the only thing that would cure this but I’m see him almost everyday, and I don’t know if I can not control myself. Was I taking things too fast? Am I naive? I hate saying it but I feel like I’ll never get an opportunity like this in a long time.

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