Am I gay

A Little back story, I'm 25 and a virgin iv always been into girls and had a couple girlfriends in high school. I got heavy into weed and I stopped getting dates because I was always focused on getting high. After awhile I started going to the nude beach for old men when I was high and would steal my sisters thongs and flash them to girls in public because it would give me such a thrill. I started to put my fingers in my butt and would sometimes let old men watch me on omegle. I would always be high when I did this and I didn't like it sober. I really just want a girlfriend to love me but I feel like I'm hopeless and I almost do this as a last resort type of thing. That being said looking at it all it deff seems a little gay and I'm just really confused and am looking for advice if anyone could help! thanks