2018. február 17., szombat

Am I wrong? Seeking some advice.

Hey everyone! It's been awhile since I posted here, but I'm seeking some advice.Long story short, I met this guy off of Grindr (he's 30, I'm 23, but it's frightneing how much we're alike) and I really began to like him (maybe even falling in love with him). Before we met, we messaged for at least two and a half month, and until now, we met (only) three times, due to him having two jobs. Messaging began in September, first time we met was in November, and then we would meet in December and in January.Everything was going pretty great so far, we made each other compliments, he showed interest, he was really trying to find time for me (although having two jobs and a family and friends), trying to lift me up and he even talked about giving me a kiss, but then after our third date, he began to act strange. He wouldn't respond as much and just seemed to distance himself. I thought it would be the typical story of losing interest. I told him about it, and he said that he distanced himself because he had a lot of stress regarding his mom being in the hospital, an (apparently) fake friend, his ex who is getting on his nerves and so on. Said, that it has nothing to do with me. When I told him that I felt like getting on his nerves, he said, that this isn't the case. We continued to write each other (but more on my side of course) and one morning I wake up with a text of him apologizing for being so quiet in these last couple of days. I was so happy.That was about two weeks ago now, and everything seemed to be fine again, even reassuring that he hoped to see me the week after. But then Valentine's Day came around and stupid me wanted to ask him out, but he had to work the entire day and even told me that he was glad about it. Glad about working the whole day, and glad about being single. I felt bad, like really bad, and he wouldn't respond when I told him, that I would have liked to spend the day with him (and I don't even like V-Day).One day before V-Day I asked him if he was really sure that I wasn't getting on his nerves, and then he said that it was indeed the case. Especially because of me wanting to spend V-Day with him and constantly asking him when he will be free. Then he said, that he doesn't have much time, and that he's not searching for sth serious or a commitment, because he went through a lot in the past. Then he said, that maybe he talked about kissing me because he was horny, and that the whole time he thought about friendship. Even told me that I'm a good guy. I told him that I like him, and that I'm pretty sure, that he likes me, too. No response.Two days later, I apologized to him for getting on his nerves, because I thought that he was right. He said, that everything's alright, although seeming a bit on distance. But he would ask about my new job that I got. Yesterday we talked a little about his dog, who died a couple of years ago, and he opened up a bit. And then comes today.Today we small-talked a bit, and when I said that I have nothing to do, he said that I could get me a date and grab something to eat. It became clear that he really only wants a friendship (if he truly wants one) and he even said that he also dates nonetheless even if he doesn't want a relationship apparently. He knows that I like him, and I told him that I refuse to go on dates, when I liked someone and then it doesn't work out. Like it's the case now. No response, but that wasn't too bad. I then asked him how he can date although not having time (and I really asked out of "friendship"). No response. Again.Am I wrong for feeling like a liability? Was his interest in me only an illusion on my side? I want to give him some space, but I feel weird and sad not talking to him. I don't know what to do. Only two days ago I admittet to myself, that I fell already in love with him.I apologize for this long text. I expected it to be much shorter. Any advice and any responde would be appreciated. Thank you.

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