Is gay dating dead?

I'm 32, gay guy in Charlotte, NC. I'm "out" to whoever asks and family, have my finances in order, take care of my body, dress decent, am optimistic and friendly in person, have a small group of good friends, lots of unique hobbies, and life is pretty good. However, I struggle greatly finding gay men that are single and even open to the idea of dating. I feel like the cliché suggestion of "just join a group doing what you love and talk to people" really only applies to straight people.Being gay, we are smaller in numbers and not always easy to identify. Therefore, we tend to find each other on apps or bars, where substances are involved or sex is the focus. I've tried going out to bars, made a couple platonic friends who are already in relationships. The gay apps and even the mainstream dating sites seem to be full of "bored", "horny" guys that clearly state they only want friends-with-benefits or are already coupled up and looking to "parTy with Tina". The only responses I get are guys 500 miles away or more than double my age.I'm getting discouraged as it seems like being gay = random hookups where guys go to someone new each night (dangerous and unfulfilling to me personally...not trying to judge!) or complete loneliness. Based on experience and reading, it seems this phenomenon of "gay culture" is worldwide, urban or rural. Gay marriage seems wonderful to me, but I feel like it's a myth that only happens for other people in another dimension...lol.I have hope, but my heart feels a bit crushed after years like this. I promise I'm not this sad-sounding offline, I'm just here to vent I guess. Not sure what else to say here. It feels like most gay men don't want to date at all, and I'm frustrated. :-/