I feel alone

I am blessed with strong anxiety. It really effects me and I feel like there is nothing I can ever do about it and nobody I can ever talk to about it because I will come off as weird.I have a great boyfriend whom I love very much, but I don't feel like I can talk to him about these things without coming off as a weirdo or someone with bad issues.I get extremely uncomfortable and anxious around party like activities and drugs/alcohol. He is one who likes to smoke daily if he can. I do not like being around weed because like I said it makes me very uneasy and uncomfortable, idk why but it just does. Also around large group party scenes which alcohol and smoking and such. I have talked to him before about how weed makes me uncomfortable and that I don't like being around it.I wish I wouldn't have a problem with these things because people love doing this type of stuff in their early 20s but it literally makes me so damn anxious and even panic attacks. I have no idea why but I just get so damn anxious.I don't want to be but I just am, and I feel like if I were to try and talk about I wouldn't be able to. Even thinking about it makes me tear up. I just don't want to have to constantly be dealing with this type of stuff but it's stuff my boyfriend is in to so I try and tag along.Tonight, I am over at his house and they have a few people over to hang out but I went to bed early, one because I am actually pretty sick, but two because I was just getting super anxious and uncomfortable. I feel terrible that I am like this but I just can't help it in anyway. Luckily, my best friend is like me where he doesn't like partying or doing drugs so hanging out with him is great and a breeze.I just never know what to do but it's something that is constantly bothering me and keeping me up at night, making me feel sick, and putting me in awkward places.The main issue is the weed, I would be fine if it was just alcohol but weed and other drugs just really make me uncomfortable. If there wasn't any weed involved I honestly think I would be fine with it all, if it was only alcohol.I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I never have anybody to talk to about it because people will think that I am weird for not liking these types of things and being into it. My anxiety about it all is just really draining me. I feel like there is nobody to talk to about it and that nearly nobody feels the same way I do. I feel alone in all of it.Vent over, just had to get this all off my chest.