Can't Control Myself [nsfw]

I really hate myself. I can't control myself. I met a random guy at my university on Grindr today and we went to a bathroom. I was gonna give him a blowjob - luckily I couldn't because someone else came in and didn't leave so we left.Still, I jerked him off a bit. My paranoid and stupid and scared and irrational mind says I put myself at risk of an STD (not just HIV but also herpes or something) because I stroked mysef after touching him. He didn't appear to have anything on his dick - I did get my face close enough to it to love the smell but I resisted my urge to suck then because of HIV and other STD's. Still something in my mind says I could have spread heroes from his dick to mine.I am terrified of STD's, and I hate that I can't control myself from contacting guys on Grindr.Now I am sitting here freaking out because I (theoritically) won't know if I have any disease for at least 3 months. I didn't even put him in my mouth. I just hate how I can't control myself and I'm an idiot for putting myself at risk.I wouldn't if I didn't have this huge sex drive (I can cum 3+ times a day by myself and still be extremely horny) or if I actially had a boyfriend and we can have a lot of safe, amazing sex. :(This isn't the first guy I've met up with. I've met up with 2 others in the past 5 months, the first I sucked for about 10 seconds and the second I sucked for about 2 minutes, he didn't cum, then he sucked me and he swallowed my cum. Like those times, I just couldn't control myself because I am fucking pathetic.Does anyone else get this way or does anyone else do this? I just feel so lost and pathetic. I should be able to control myself better. But I can't. I'm so stupid and worthless. :/