Am I wrong? Don't feel like I know myself.

I'm 18, figured out I was gay not too long ago. Haven't really talked to anyone about it.Although I can't really feel okay with it for some reason. Like feeling I'd kill myself from the iniquity of sleeping with a man.I just think I'd feel irredeemable to myself if I ever 'came out' to my parents or ever had to introduce a boyfriend, like i'd obviously be the bottom or lesser or something. I don't really know why I feel this way, was bullied a little for being "gay" in middle school, didnt really care back then but just makes me feel worse now. Even thought I was into girls but realized I just wanted to be friends.. Just wish I was straight mostly.I think I'm fairly attractive too, I get a lot of attention from women, but I just feel inadequate when I never have any feelings for any who try to hit on me. Feeling even worse when I get feelings for a guy I see..But really, from an objective standpoint, is there something wrong with being gay? It being unnatural or something? Serving no purpose?Idk how to feel, just feel "wrong" atm