Idk anymore

Hi everyone ! I would really appreciate some insight as I am clearly confused as to whats going on right now, driving me insane !!!So all my life I have liked girls, I remember plenty of crushes that ive had, from elementary - highschool and my last girlfriend i fell in love with started the summer before college and it lasted till last september which i cried when we broke up and was depressed till about jan-feb. Anyway, I've been smoking weed for a few years and once I had some gay thoughts and one time I saw a kid in my math class who was cool and deff bagged mad chicks and for the entire class i was like hes a good looking kid and couldnt stop looking but that wore off when i was sober . I was a justin bieber fan basically ever since he came out and i used all his songs to bag girls and everything, even grew the hair out to bag chicks. I was getting girls left and right. Never had a sexual attraction to justin bieber tho, that was weird and even the thought of kissing a dude or being in a relationship with one is weird too, not what I want or desire. I did once get head from like a 50 year old black dude because I was od drunk and couldnt move he basically forced it on me and i did enjoy it but he made me recipricate and I just could not after 5 seconds and walked away now that i sobered up. Now in latter months of last year I had gay thoughts from weed that didnt arouse me so i quit the weed from new years till march and slowely but surely for the most part the gay thoughts went away and from december-jan I was banging a girl, she wasnt all that hot but i went up with ease and i was enjoying it. One time it was freezing and my dick is usually not capable of getting hard in the cold but she sucked me off in the park and i got hard and i was like YEAHHH BUDDY! Sadly she became annoying I had to let her go, I couldnt be involved in another relationship at this time. I got another chick and she was ehhh but it was whatever i just wanted to fuck but i got pretty tipsy and was hard in my pants but when she took her clothes off i was like ehhh not that nice to look at and she gave me head and it fell down and i was like whatever no big deal, shes not hot and i cant get it up when im drunk anymore anyway. So i relapsed with the weed and from 3/1-3/25 and the gay thoughts came back but no arousal. Ive quit weed since then but the gay thoughts wont go away and this is causing me great distress as over the past 2.5-3 weeeks ive cried, puked and have intrusive images of gay acts and such. STILL NO AROUSAL. I thought this was HOCD so I was calm for a bit but would still be nervous and such but for the last few days Ive seemed to calm down, theres a cute girl in my class and I deff want to get her and possibly be in a relationship if it gets that far, we havent hooked up yet or anything but shes real chill, deff can see myself with this kind of girl. However, I have yet to get an erection around her because maybe Ive masturbated my life away since the final year of my last relationship till just about now. But today , I read some explicit gay sex talk from some forum and it got me aroused and i ended up jerking off and coming hard. Gay porn has not done anything to me and Ive been testing with gay fantasies and I seem to get nervous and erect at the same time. I am nervous with the straight fantasies and cant seem to get hard. Im a nervous wreck and have no desire to want to act on these gay thoughts yet it seems like thats where my head is leaning but I deeply do not want that. I want the girl in my class, I cant say I like her ALOT but shes cool and I deff want to spend more time with her and see where we get too, especially if shes feeling like that towards me. Idk whats going on but I deff dont want to be gay, I could handle being bisexual because that means I can still bang girls so its all good. Being gay would depress me and literally probably break me as I see hot chicks but dont know if it would go up but just 3 months ago, I had a girl in my bed thaT i was banging hard so idk what the heck is going, all insights would be helpful, please and thank you in advance everyone.!!!