Depression

Hi,My name is Yeltsin and I'm from Brazil. First, sorry about my english skills (my writing is not THAT good).So I'm suffering with depression, anxiety and panic. Is not only gay-related. I'm out, my parents know, they don't accept, but is just fine (now, before was hell).But I'm feeling so down this days. In January I discovered that I had HPV. Then I had to do the HIV exam. I was so afraid. My exam was HIV- (no HIV). But I couldn't feel happy about it. I don't feel emotions anymore. Only sadness.So now I'm living with diapers (because the thing can be imprevisible), I have to do a surgery that I am too afraid to do.And I'm feeling miserable, hopeless. Without love (I need to point that I broke with my boyfriend in November/December, few days AFTER my birthday). I recently signed up at OKCupid, only to be ignored. Only one guy talked to me there and only yesterday. I feel that no one likes me.One week ago, I discovered that I have labyrinthitis. And my anxiety medication is not efetive anymore. So I am suffering from anxiety, labyrinthitis and the pills don't work.I am also afraid of elevators and I live on the 16th floor (actually is the 18th, because there is two extra floors in this building).I feel that my friends don't like me anymore. I feel that I am worthless.I have psychiatrist tomorrow (today, actually. In 6 hours). It is my second psychiatrist. And I am panicking about it.PS: If someone wants to talk with me, please do so. It's 3:22 AM here, I can't sleep (again) and I am feeling lonely as hell. I tried to talk at the /r/Anxiety IRC, but no one answered me. I'm feeling like is the Apocalipse and I am the only man alive.